"Sweetheart"

On behalf of women everywhere, I present: an essay in which I will instruct men to stop f***ing calling me “sweetheart.”

If you are not my parents, my best friend, or my life partner, you may not, under any circumstances, call me “sweetheart.”

My reasons include, in no particular order:

1. I do not enjoy pet names. Nothing about my behavior has indicated otherwise.
2. Even if I did, the only people who may use them are those with whom I have a very intimate relationship.
3. You, strange grouchy man on the phone, are not someone with whom I have a very intimate relationship.
4. “Sweetheart,” when used properly, is a term of endearment, indicating that you love and cherish someone. If you do not love and cherish me (and I know you do not), then I can only interpret it as condescending. Read: sexism.
5. My taste for that epitaph grows increasingly bitter as I learn you only utilize it to interrupt or correct me.
6. It is not socially appropriate to give a stranger a nickname the first day you meet them. If you would not arbitrarily decide to call Richard “Dick” when you take his lunch order, you can save your creative energy and just call me by my given name as well.
7. If you are determined not to refer to me by name, I would do just fine being addressed as “ma’am.” I’m a grown woman. A little respect is not beneath you.
8. I am tired of hearing you say “sweetheart” in that belittling, condescending, mock-pitying tone. I am tired of being made to feel like I am lesser, like I am stupid, like I am a fragile flower. Next time you call me sweetheart, I am going to challenge you to a Sudoku contest or a spelling bee and I will beat you. I will also beat you in a footrace, a speed reading competition, and most card games.
9. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Would you feel comfortable if I called you “sweetheart?” I didn’t think so.
10. I repeat: sexism.

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Written by Allyson S. Barkley